Life Lessons, Courtesy of Mercedes

Posted by: Matt Iasenzaniro onAugust 14th, 2014

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Before we start, I need to apologize for being late. Partly due to real life getting in the way, but mostly due to the fact that I struggled to write this. My theme for this article was going to be “Growing up and growing old”. I was going to walk you through Benyl’s completely normal car history, where he threw whatever cheap mods he could to make his car stand out, regardless of whether or not they made the car any better. We were going to bring back memories of him crashing at the track (or on the streets) by driving like an idiot. We’d transition into his actual adulthood, where he owns a sensible home and drives a sensible wagon.

Problem is, none of those things are true. Benyl was born a 50 year old man and his cars have gotten consistently more powerful from the factory as time goes on. He didn’t really mod his cars until a money shift destroyed his STI’s engine and he was going to have to pay for a new one anyway. Even then, he built it right the first time. There was no exhaust without a hanger, no JB Weld on a fuel line, no eBay turbos blowing up. I had assumed Benyl fit a stereotype and I was completely wrong. In addition to the slight embarrassment I felt, I was now scrambling to figure out how to theme this article. I failed over and over to try and find an angle on Benyl himself, but the answer materialized as soon as I thought about his car…

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Don’t judge a book by its cover.

Not that Benyl looks like anything except said 50 year old man, but it’s still very easy to put him in the same boat as the majority of Beyond. Just as it’s pretty easy to look at the Mercedes-Benz E63S AMG Wagon and assume it’s like every other wagon out there. You might see the AMG badge and think “Okay, it’s a wagon with a loud engine making good power for a normal car, but not enough to haul that pig around. You might also be really really wrong.

Next Page: Matt Gets a Hug



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When he’s not busy writing about cars or travelling the auto show circuit, he’s reviewing apps and video games related to the automotive world. In his spare time, Matt is a motorcycle enthusiast, trying not to kill himself riding along with the crazy local drivers. He is also a weekly contributor in the Motor Mondays segment on News Talk 770.

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